I have two things to rant about for the topic of radio.  First of all: morning shows.  I can’t stand morning shows.  In the 7 years I’ve spent driving, I’ve found two morning shows that didn’t make me want to cut my ears off.  Please keep in mind, not wanting to cut my ears off doesn’t make them good, it just means they aren’t as atrociously awful as other morning shows.  Morning shows have a formula for picking hosts, so all of them have two guys as hosts or two guys and a token girl, who is really just viewed as “one of the guys.”  Not a whole lot of variation.

Along with that, the show content is usually lacking.  They always mention inside jokes, so you can never just listen to a show one morning.  You have to listen to the show for 5 mornings in a row so you can actually follow the dialogue.  I rarely like anyone on the radio enough to listen to them for more than two mornings in a row without wanting to call up and tell them just a few of their more annoying flaws (usually having to do with them opening their mouth to talk).

Then there’s the issue with the callers.  DJs are on the radio because they have a personality, they have a nice radio voice, and they understand, even at the most basic level, how to connect with people.  People who call into radio shows don’t have any of these qualities.  They sound awful on the air and they tell long-winded, boring stories that no one wants to hear.  I can’t stand when shows put callers on the air.  (Loophole: Yes, I remember, I was recently on the radio, but all I had to do was listen to the DJ tell me a story and say exclamatory remarks at the right moments.  Much more acceptable.)

On to my other issue with radio right now: changing the words in songs.  I find this idiotic.  Amazingly, Miley Cyrus did not write a song that has the words “And the John, Jay, and Rich show was on…” nor did Uncle Kracker say “like a record playing on <insert radio station call numbers>”.  When I hear something like I immediately change the station because it makes me want to throw things and I’m probably driving, so that would be unsafe.

Stupid radio stations.